Gchat

Remember when gchat replaced 4th grade IM sex? Gchat is the best… Especially when you’re sitting next to the person you’re chatting with. Post-post-modern convo. 

 

Cookie:  hey sexy.  wanna talk dirty??
 Me:  a/s/l
i have a boner
Cookie:  22, female, two feet away from you, oh, and I’m BLACK
 Me:  i dont like black people
 Cookie:  that’s not what I heard on black.com
 Me:  you caught me

All about Suzanne Somers, not really jk lol. ?

 

More people should want and desire Suzanne Somers professionally and personally.

 

But that’s not what today’s post is truly about… OR IS IT?  Lately, I have been thinking about what screams “please, cast me in films about fog and child abuse.”  

Case in point — both child actor Jodelle Ferland and not child actor Laurie Holden.

The films –  Silent Hill (which both are in), followed by The Mist (with Holden) and Tideland (with Ferland).

In Brief:

Good Stephen King adaptations are few and far between.  Great ones are even rarer and that is exactly what I found Frank Darabont’s The Mist to be.  Darabont has proven himself as King’s celluloid voice with both Shawshank and Green Mile, and The Mist only reinforces their partnership in the most positive of ways.  What is fearfully curious is that it is completely possible to end up believing that the evil Mrs. Carmody was right all along.  Way to go Marcia Gay Harden. Way. to. go. 

Gilliam’s Tideland on the other hand is not so great.  I completely understand what Gilliam was trying to get across… However, as disturbing as The Mist’s ending was, the entirety of this film was just kind of a bit much for my liking. Ferland is like 7 and has a relationship with an older man that happens to be mentally handicapped.  Her father gets STUFFED.  Gross.

Silent Hill — WHATEVER.  Damn you, Mr. Script.  You should be ashamed of yourself. 

WHAT this rambling all really boils down to is that SILENT HILL 2 is one of the BEST videogames ever made. Period.  One of the most engrossing, terrifying entertainment experiences created — whether it be compared to literature, film, or other gaming.  The game is at least 200,000X better than these three films combined. 

Yeah, I was gone a little over a month. DEAL.

 

I know ya’ll TOTALLY cared and missed me.

Summer 2009, Please.

 

While everyone is going completely bananas over Christian Bale and Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight, I’m REALLY going bananas thinking about my summer experience — next year.

Yes, Watchmen is going to be seen.  Yes, I am a huge dork.  HOWEVER, in an argument against dorkiness (or for it), I remember reading Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons’ book and realizing that feelings associated with their creation is something other than fanboydom.  It is a state of appreciation due to the fact that they completely propelled the comic/graphic novel form into something multifaceted and engrossing in a totally mature, adult way.  The stories — meaning the ‘main’ one, the comic within the comic, and the character studies — are interspersed to create a work which as a whole is entirely and surprisingly human.

Zack Snyder, who propelled himself to fame with the remake of Dawn of the Dead and super fame with 300, is (as the trailer advertises) a visionary director.  He certainly does have a certain panache and visual flair in both the aforementioned films.  Likewise, from what I have seen, the trailer does indeed feel like the graphic novel.  However, with his two previous efforts, Snyder has also shown that elements associated with human emotion are not necessarily his forte. 

Luckily, there are some very strong actors present here.  While I would have personally liked to have seen a more mature cast – Patrick Wilson, Jackie Earle Haley, and Billy Crudup could make this work…  Additionally, succumbing to fanboydom, Dr. Manhattan looks amaaazing… 

Mr. Snyder, I hope you do not destroy this like Brett Ratner destroyed The Phoenix Saga.

Obama = Osama, McCain = Zombie.

While I am not personally offended by the newest cover of “The New Yorker,” I do believe that the cartoon, featuring Barack Obama and his wonderfully stylish (and just generally wonderful) Michelle, is slightly problematic for a multitude of reasons.  While ”The New Yorker” is meant to provoke thought — in this case, a satire of the images of Obama and his wife that the far right and or uninformed wish to convey — it is problematic due to the fact that the cover is entirely based in false beliefs, except for the fact that we have seen the Obamas bump fists.

Sketches and political cartoons from every era show that no one is really safe from being displayed in caricature form.  Just think of everyone fairly recently from Howard Dean and images of his screech to Al Gore and his lock box and yes, even completely tasteless images of John McCain as a POW.  However, while as disgusting or funny or just generally ‘whatever’ these images might be, they are usually based in some reality.  The reality of the ”New Yorker” cover is just the reality of lies which is what makes it so tricky to a lot of people.

The fact of the matter is that pretty much any idiot can identify what this cover is trying to say.  I firmly believe that the majority are not going to look at the cover and think to themselves, “Obama IS a terrorist?!?!” Americans aren’t THAT stupid.  The minority in the country who actually own the belief that Obama = Osama a) probably do not read ”The New Yorker” or know what it is, b) would probably not vote for Obama to begin with, C) may very well not even vote at all (although it is not entirely safe to make this assumption).

At the same time, however, there are several right wingers out there who are trying to convey that very message.  Similarly, there are rhetorical slip ups that are causing people to recoil or cringe in certain ways.  Think of Matt Lauer calling Osama Obama… Notice the differences if you google “Barack Hussein Obama” versus simply googling “Barack Obama.” Simply think of people’s reactions to the fist bump… Something I actually found quite endearing.

All of those things are part of a recipe that allows for an image like the video below to become part of the cover for “The New Yorker”:

Laura Linney, Friend or Enemy?

Yes, this is a drawing of Laura Linney wearing a couch.  Why?  Because it LOOKS like what she wears in her film, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, during virtually every courtroom scene.  I advise everyone else to not make this comment in any way, shape, or form.

Be careful what you say because Laura Linney can and will take revenge.  It’s like the story of ”The Grither.”  Basically, if you are unfamiliar with the Grither, it’s from an episode of Tales From the Darkside.  It’s about an evil monster who lives in the North Pole.  If you say its name, the monster’s ears grow — becoming wings, no less — to hunt down the person who uttered its name.  Laura Linney = Grither.

To make a long story short, I started to watch and thoroughly enjoy tales other than Tales From the Darkside, namely Tales of the City (1993).  The show/miniseries is based off of the book by Armistead Maupin. I’ve watched four out of six episodes and now I cannot find the third disc with the last two episodes ANYWHERE.  I’m convinced Laura Linney has stolen it.  Due to this, I am unable to continue onto More Tales of the City and Further Tales of the City until I find and watch that disc.  To make matters worse, I started watching Twin Peaks (which doesn’t even have to do anything with Ms. Linney), but the first disc isn’t really the first disc!!! Laura Linneyyyyy! I will never make a statement about your couch-wearing ways again.

So far in the show, Laura Linney’s character (Mary Ann Singleton), is no Carrie Bradshaw.  She isn’t into Jimmy Choo’s, she lives in San Francisco instead of New York, and she isn’t completely annoying.  After being in San Francisco for five days on vacation, Singleton decides to leave her life in Cleveland behind and permanently brave the city, version 1976:

Drugs (everyone), gays (Marcus D’Amico), creepy married men (Thomas Gibson) , and old people love (Olympia Dukakis + Donald Moffat)!!!

I have to find that third disc.  Laura Linney, along with everyone else, are truly fantastic.  Right now, I love that unlike C Bradshaw, MA Singleton is a somewhat innocent being exposed to all walks of city life.  She is literally shaken by everything.  Just wait until you see Parker Posey.  Despite her judgments, she has an affair with the creepy, married man…

I NEED THAT THIRD DISC.

Until I get it, I’m going to relive “The Grither” and be completely paranoid about Laura Linney’s next attack…

‘Cause Everything’s Better in Español!

 

Guillermo Del Toro’s Hellboy II: The Golden Army is out in theatres…

TIME TO RENT MIMIC!

How’s It Feel To Win It?

Remember when Solange Knowles, little sister to the one with mega-stage presence and plenty of numero uno hits, released a potentially suicide inducing album circa 2003? Neither does virtually anyone else. However, it did happen. After this and getting knocked up at a fairly young age, Solange seemed to disappear — except for the occasional writing credit for the Marcia of the family, Beyonce, and other individuals associated with the Houston-based Knowles Mafia.

Color me not just surprised — but VERY surprised — when I say that I really like… like REALLY like… the Freemasons’ remix of Solange’s song (from her upcoming album?!?!) “I Decided,” aptly titled “I Decided Part 2.” Hell seriously must have frozen over for someone to give this girl another chance.

The song in tow with its video almost borders on brilliance. The remix by the Freemasons, more so than the original Neptunes’ edit, fits the fusion of social and cultural identities expressed by video director, Melina — set to technicolor pop art. While “I Decided” is merely a Supremes-influenced story of one’s love, the song’s remixed production values combined with the video’s images elevates it to another level. The song and video together express the evolution of civil liberties set to ANY pop song (spanning from the ’60s to the present) because “I Decided Part 2″ sounds like an orgy of the decades. The Freemasons’ sounds, along with the glamour and glitter of the video, pay homage to not just musical influence, but to social influence for racial equality and the expression of cultural identity.

“I Decided Part 2″ falls short due to the fact that while images of racial equality and injustices abound toward the beginning, they become much more muted as the video progresses. On one hand, the theme becomes more subtle simply due to the fact that Jim Crow did not have a place in the ’90s. Therefore, images of marches and rallies are going to be fewer and farther between. Instead, for example, we get the artwork of Keith Haring which is infused with a message of social justice. Eventually, however, we jump to the future where the pop art style of the video is gone and it feels as if Solange is simply being Jan Brady and competing with Big Sis.

This video could have received the ultimate gold star if Solange and the director kept up with images of race, culture, and (gasp) Solange’s personal feelings associated with being African American in today’s society. With the images that preceded the shallow outer space scenes, it could have brought Solange to a place that her sister has never been — it could have shown her as someone truly having, believing, and wanting to deliver a message to people.

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Octopussy, This Ain’t

 

One of the inherently important descriptions about Steve Yockey’s play “Octopus” is that it labels itself as  “a postmodern love story,” specifically about gay men.  As such, there is little to no commentary about the struggles of coming out or how the four main characters are treated within society, etc. By labeling itself as postmodern, the playwright seems to argue that his work can simply exist as a story of individuals – without concentrating on traditional political overtones, the plight of feeling different, and the feeling of being treated differently within mainstream society.

Despite the wishful thinking on the playwright’s part, it is still virtually impossible to view this play without thinking about the social and political subtext, certainly more apparent in some of the playwright’s  modernist influences from Tennessee Williams to Tony Kushner. It does exist as more than “a love story,” however, and completely enters the realm of political and social commentary.

In short, the plot of the play is about two gay couples — one older (Andy + Max) and one younger (Blake + Kevin) — who make the decision to have group sex with one another. After the event, which wreaks havoc on the younger couple’s relationship, it is found that the eldest of the group, Andy, is HIV-positive. Without giving too much away, only Blake is at risk.  Kevin urges him to get tested and Blake replies something along the lines of, “but nobody even gets that anymore. He didn’t even look sick.”

At this point in time, a woman sitting behind me let out a loud “HMMMPH!” Granted, she almost made this sound after every sentence uttered, but here it was particularly noticeable.

This is a highly politicized statement and theme in the play, whether intended to be or not.  This sentence alone shows how images of HIV/AIDS have virtually disappeared since the 1980s and early 1990s, allowing one like Blake to rest in a pit of naivete.  “But I don’t feel sick,” he says.  It is not said or discussed whether or not Blake and Kevin are sexually active with one another during the period of “not knowing.”

Blake’s statement, while completely stupid on his part, is simultaneously somewhat valid and realistic for a younger, sexually active person of today. All in all, while what I am about to say is as obvious as “A is for Apple,” HIV/AIDS is something that was and is shown as an illness others have — a representation that grows in society as medications and their advertisements conceal signs of illness.  In the past, usually the “others” were represented as gay.  One thing that Yockey seems to acknowledge in his play is that the “others” are now even less of a comprehensible underclass… 

…Today, I personally stumbled upon the new “Details” magazine which features an article “Forget Condoms, young single guys getting vasectomies.” Unwanted pregnancy is the only problem acknowledged on the cover?! I feel like letting out a sound similar to the woman that sat behind me. I also get why someone like Blake would say what he said…

What is also very interesting is how the play addresses transgressional relationships and age gaps between gay men.  The older couple, who undoubtedly were in their early 20s during the height of HIV/AIDS ravaging the gay community, have a completely different view on relationships compared to Blake and Kevin.  Group sex is something that they do “from time to time,” whereas it fills Kevin and Blake with guilt and dreams of monogamy. I’m still unsure as to what Yockey is saying about the differences between older and younger generations.

Steve Yockey, while not necessarily having written something truly postmodern, has written something important. He has told an interesting story with fairly believable characters, while addressing something that should be acknowledged regardless of one’s orientation or age — especially in light of seeing the new issue of “Details.”

How Many Times Can I Say Argento or Use an Argentophrase?

Coming hot off the heels of Dario Argento’s second film in his ”Three Mothers” trilogy (over 20 years later), the auteur has finally brought The Mother of Tears to the big screen.  Despite previous efforts showing either a lack of passion or merely being chem-free, the final Mother film does feel like a return to form that has not been seen since The Stendhal Syndrome or maybe even as far back as the chaotic Opera.

It must be said, however, that part of the charm in viewing this film was that it was my first Argento experience in the theatre. From the opening credits to the abrupt, human soup conclusion, I had a smile on my face.  I have read many reviews from Argento-philes who hated this film. Why? I have no idea, considering this is the most Argento-like movie in years that was actually made by Argento. Is it scary? No, but what Argento movie is?

His films are our nightmares. Rhyme, reason, and logic have no place throughout the duration of this or any Argento film. It is fetishistic, irrational, and brutally, hilariously violent. Suspiria, the first Mother film, saw a helpless victim escape, only to jump into barbed wire and have her throat slashed. Inferno, the second Mother film, saw a helpless man being stabbed — while being devoured by rats – in a random act of Argentoverse. Here, we have pretty much all of the above and then some… Babies are thrown off bridges, one’s own entrails become a murder weapon and part of their demise.

We also have Argento’s muse, his daughter Asia, playing the heroine Sarah. Asia Argento is not so much of an actress as she is a very strong presence to fall in love with. Again, there is a perverse quality surrounding the film, not just in violent spectacle. It’s been done before, but again Dario’s camera lingers on his own daughter in compromising situations — in the shower, in romantic situations. His camera and work as a whole addresses desire in totally bizarre ways.

If Argento is to learn something from himself, it’s that desire deviating from “normal” is consistently punished within his films. In his landmark giallo, Tenebre, a source of desire in flashback form is played by a transsexual actress. She is murdered. Likewise, in the same film, a lesbian couple is murdered in their home to the sounds of Goblin’s wailing score. I wonder how he would treat incest.

In his past films, Argento’s own hands were filmed as the murderer gearing for his or her next kill. Let us hope in certain ways, Argento knows how to keep his hands to himself. In terms of future releases, let us hope that in other ways his hands keep doing what they are doing.